So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I thought I was smashed last night but the girl trying to pee in the fridge had me beat. True story.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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