I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
come on don't hate me. your brother looks just like you its almost a complement that i had sex with him.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
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