if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
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