Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Randomize
