It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
There's just something about a dollar tree pregnancy test that screams THIS WASNT PLANNED!
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
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