So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The extent of my physical activity is running from the cops.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Randomize
