Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
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