We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
he was holding his dick in one hand and my boob in the other and i looked down and thought, this is my life
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
Randomize
