I must be too annoying 4 u.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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