I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
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