Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
The dick lei will go down in squad history
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
