return my video game
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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