she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
