Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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