i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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