I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
