so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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