just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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