she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
yeah the cable guy is coming and everybody is hiding all the pieces in the house. we are up to thirty two. like a fun game of smokable scavener hunt.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
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