you would pick up someone in the library
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
no you cant smoke seaweed
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize