Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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