turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
We have 24 days left before I leave for college and 21 condoms left in the stockpile. Are you up for the challenge?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
Randomize
