I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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