My mom just drunkenly told me i was conceived in the back of a car, at a Bon Jovi concert.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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