do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Randomize
