Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Randomize
