It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He honestly told me my belt was "supercute" when we started hooking up. I would be the girl to find the only straight man in the world that uses the word "supercute".
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
