Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
Dude. Yeah. This is a game changer. I feel dirty and possibly pregnant and it hasn't happened yet.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize
