there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Randomize
