Having a random hookup so left but love u
these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Unless my dick prospects improve this year’s Halloween costume will include panties with “DTF” written on them and a push up bra
Randomize
