Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
