Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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