whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
If my bootycall doesn't bring over a Baconnator, I swear to fucking God, I'm not letting him in. The hunger is that real. Forget his Persian dick.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Randomize
