I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
