bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Halloween is the only night where I would ever end up getting a guy's makeup all over my face
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
She flirted with a pilot and a frat boy at the airport in Vegas and told our bartender his mask matched her panties so yeah I’d say she’s rebounding from the divorce
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