Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
Randomize
