I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I feel like I've wasted too many painkillers on hangovers
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
