I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize