So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I'm at some strange place in what feels like Mexico, high and getting tacos.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
