I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
Get the cougar, get the cougar, get the cougar. Act like an injured baby deer. She will either eat you alive or nurse you back to health either way its still sex.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
