My vagina just recognized that song.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
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