I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
we made out on top of his cat.
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
