This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
YOU TRIED TO SWIM IN HER FISHTANK. I don't think she's going to call you.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
