So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Randomize
