You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
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