Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
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