He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
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