what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
