They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
