no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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