Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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