I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize