I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
Did I show you my penis last night?
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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