We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
So you walked 4 miles to get home but stopped by the store first to get a vegetable tray? How drunk were you?
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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