Cold hands, warm shart.
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
It's like even though I'm not in college anymore my body still knows it's September and is putting itself into competitive binge drinking mode.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
All three of the bartenders here have screwed my boss, so he's definitely gay. Unfortunately for you he seems to have a type and you're not it.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
