His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
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