You're so nebulous sometimes
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
He compared my blow job skills to finding gold treasure in a gold chest, so there's that.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
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