Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
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