whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
Of course I have a pirate flag
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
Randomize
