okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
Never let your siblings swipe right.
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Randomize
