so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
The crooked penis I maybe could have looked past...but no foreplay? Deal breaker.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
