FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
