Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
