Will you blow on my dice?
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I have feelings that need drinking.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Randomize
