lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
