dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
