i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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