His pubic hair was longer than his dick
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think your dad took our porno
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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